Many years ago I noticed that I was either missing some neurons or had to many firing like a god damn 16 plug HEMI. Not sure if I posted about how I was searching ebay and FB marketplace for a laptop for my sister, but shit got weird. So, first of all I am not trying to sound like I am the best bro or whatever, but my sis got ill a while back and she lost her job due to her months unable to work. Anyway, her all-in-one fucken macaroni PC gave up like 2 years ago and she bought a fucken chromebook, like not trying to be a mansplainer, but that’s not a PC. So I was gonna buy her a used dell latittude and I actually found this bad ass unit, looked clean and had an i5 with 32gbs ram and 2tb ssd. I almost defecated upwards if you know what I mean, specially after seeing that 200 dollar tag… but life is wild yo, serendipity!!!!! Saw a post of a dude selling 4 G3 desktops for 65 a pop.
Alright, I know what you’re going to say, they’re old, but these bad boys are actually hella competent when you debloat them and add hella ram. I cannabalized two of them and made 2 16gb ram units and one had a 256gb nvme and a 500 pny I slapped on to it, the other had a 500pny so I sold that sucker. I ordered more ram, slapped tp wifi dongles and some displayport to HMDI pieces. Now one is going off to a homie for free 99, why? cause he’s been a hella of a friend for many years. But I ain’t that nice tho, if he wants more memery he will have to buy it. I upgraded my old ass Ace Predator RBG gaming monitor to a nitro and gave my sis the old one. So yeah, she got a good set up for free. And I slapped office on that sucka!!!!!!
He showed up a few days later and handed me her xbox 360. Now she claimed she was having issues setting it up, blah blah blah. Well in a way I kind of do believe her, but what are the odds…. right? I didn’t say no, hell yeah give me that rat bastard. I went to the local pawnshop and they games for 1.25 a piece… shit give me half of your collection but keep the other gay ass games, I told the clerk. Got no time for gay stuff… only FPS, bad assery, and maybe some gimmicks like Terraria and minecraft. Then I went on Gaymazon and bought a 500gb drive… I hated that the wifi is a bit slow and not as strong as the newer units, specially since i placed the Obsolute Unit in the garage, so now I have to take it to my room or the living room and run straight cable for maximum DOWNLOAD!! mmmm delicious!
But it was only tonight I actually realized I am a PC necromancer.
I was talking to a homie and randomly asked if he had any old PCs collecting dust. His eyes lit up.
“Bro, I got this old Dell XPS from 2009. I need a printer.”
Well, I had a printer I wanted gone. A nasty ass, trashy HP printer that was the total shit show back in the days but it was a 50 dollar get go.
So we traded.
No cash. No Marketplace haggling. No “is this still available?”
Just pure barter economy like two goblins in the wasteland exchanging loot. My PRECIOUS!!!!!
I brought the Dell home expecting nothing.
Turns out it was a super clean Studio XPS 435MT. Not only that but this dude still had the old ass peel plastics on it. Yeah it had a few dust bunniest but like come on guys, who keeps an old ass pc this clean? Bro must be a serial killer or something. So here are the SPECS:
Vista Ultimate.
i7-920.
500GB hard drive.
Dual DVD burners.
FireWire.
An ATI Radeon HD 3450.
First boot?
Three beeps. I thought it was about to play MR. Roboto.
I had been messing with the RAM, so I started laughing.
Reseated everything.
Then the machine started posting.
Then Windows Startup Repair appeared.
Then System Restore.
At that point I was fully invested.
A 17-year-old Vista machine was literally fighting its way back to life as I drank some cold ass Tall BOYS… nothing like a few beers when firing up old tech.
And the bastard won.
The funniest part is what happened next.
I started planning upgrades.
And that’s when I realized, I raise PCs from the DEAD!
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