† SINISTER PUBLICATIONS†

When I finally decide to exit the game and turn off the console, what will be left behind? What will my nieces and nephews find as they rummage through my drunk tio’s man cave? A 360 loaded with games, an old RCA 5 disc with select cdrs noted in marker. The garge fridge full of snacks I would buy them, gogurts, apple pouches, fancy ass paletas I made for them, and a 30 pack of bud light. Yeah I know you probably gonna talk smack, like bro Bud Light is holy water bro, straight from the fecal pond.. Shit it might be, but I drank this shit for millenia!!!! Get off my back hater!

Then they go through mom’s china cabinet and find that it has no china… just a tone of black and a few colored blank tshirts ready to be pressed. They will find all the tools I used to make these funny ass shirts, the measuring tape, scissors, and diagrams and all kinds of other nonsense. Then there’ si the book shelf with an android projector, my collection of skulls and little art that I have been collection: you know pieces like a wooden elephant, an emery skull, an azte death whistle, little woodend witch doctor I bought in Ruidioso, etc etc.

Then there are my notes, my collection of undergrad and grad books. A lot of philosphy, humanitites, and history propaganda. Light that shit on fire please, lol! Also my small cd collection of Mexican music, special dvds that I like and kept. ANd yeah I don’t have a dvd player but my little 360 can play those, plus I got a portable dvdrw that can always connect via usb to any PC.

Then there is the tool shed, all kinds of tools that I bought through out the years, they will find out that I am a tool hoarder.. because I kept a lot of my dad’s tools too… and they will have to go through the other 2 sheds out back with murder weapons like shovels, old school lawn mower, maybe an oversized chain for fighting crooks like Charles Bronson… Come at me PUNKS!!!!

Then they are going to see the trophy truck, the mamlona that nearly killed me, my old ass g35 sleeping beauty and jefitos 07 v6 Ramona just there, chillin like the world never shed a tear.

They will stumble across the guns that dad left me, guns I never needed cuase I had my own… lefty and righty… just ready to be cocked and wham… Not saying I am a tough guy, but I never had to use a gun even in my line of work as an armed guard. And yeah they are gonna stumble on my addiction… my collection of pcs doing random things all over the house.. The little G3 acting like the old guard running nvr blue iris server, the g4 running a little AI rat bastard, the little mini with it’s linux meth lab… and the big baus for gaming, editing, and random nonsense… and there it will be, my collection of writings, my love, my hate, my despair, all saved in docx or some vulgar old format from windows Me.

And bro, the ultimate shocker isn’t gonna be the Xbox.

It ain’t gonna be the trucks.

It ain’t gonna be the guns, the tools, the CDs, the books, or even the collection of weird-ass skulls and artifacts.

The real shocker is when they discover I was a memory goblin.

A full-blown digital hoarder.

Not of money.

Not of gold.

Of files.

Millions of damn files.

They’re gonna sit down at one of my PCs and find folders inside folders inside folders.

Then they’re gonna discover the truth.

I didn’t save a project.

I saved every version of the project.

Book.docx

Book_New.docx

Book_New_Updated.docx

Book_New_Updated_2.docx

Book_New_Updated_2_REAL.docx

Book_New_Updated_2_REAL_FINAL.docx

Book_New_Updated_2_REAL_FINAL_FINAL.docx

Book_New_Updated_2_REAL_FINAL_FINAL_USE_THIS_ONE.docx

And somehow none of them will be the current version.

They’re gonna open my hard drives and wonder why I saved twenty copies of the same file because I changed one comma on page 38.

Because what if I needed the old version?

What if future me wanted to revisit a chapter?

What if the newer version sucked?

You never know, cabrón.

Then they’ll discover the backups.

The backup of the backup.

The external backup.

The emergency backup.

The backup I forgot existed.

The DVD backup.

The cloud backup.

The random flash drive hidden in a drawer backup.

At some point one of the kiddos is gonna look up from a mountain of storage devices and ask:

“Was Tío Jose preparing for the collapse of civilization?”

And the answer will be:

“Possibly.”

Because while some people hoarded money, I hoarded memories.

Photos.

Stories.

Drafts.

Projects.

Notes.

Books.

Ideas.

Little pieces of a life that I wasn’t ready to throw away.

And after they’re done laughing at my impossible file organization system and cursing my obsession with keeping everything, maybe they’ll understand.

I wasn’t saving files.

I was saving moments.

God damn storage hoarder.

God damn memory goblin.

And I regret absolutely none of it.