† SINISTER PUBLICATIONS†

You ever look back at when you were a kid and think, Man, life was a damn fairytale? At 12, I thought the world was all magic and cool shit, no matter how much weird stuff happened around me. But hey, that’s the thing about childhood: we didn’t know what we didn’t know. We didn’t care about the chaos; we just vibed, clicked, and lived in those small, golden moments.

I remember one morning I woke up super early, ready to catch the Uncanny X-Men on channel 14. It wasn’t just about the show—it was about that promise that life would throw something my way. And that day, it did. They were giving out goodies for sending in a letter, and of course, I was all in.

I sent my letter in, not really expecting much, and guess what? Third prize, vato! They sent me a VHS of an episode where the X-Men get wrecked by these gay-ass robos and a badass special edition mag. I lost that mag later on—one of my school “colleagues” swiped it—but in that moment? I was on top of the world. How many kids can say they scored third prize in a real contest at that age?

And then, there was breakfast. The classic cereal debate. Sugar Puffs, Tony’s Best, or those weird-ass Kellogg blanks with banana and honey drizzle? It didn’t matter because life was good with any of them. Every spoonful was an adventure, and the TV was always on, serving up the best of the best: X-Men, Saturday cartoons, and the simple joy of being alive.

Now i am a fucken old ass rat bastard at 44, just slowly dying and shit. Like, I’ve put out good and bad, but when is it enough? What do you fucken want from me fucken life? I joke, I still got my shock collar, happy fucken holidays you rancid ass cool kids.