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So many friends, coworkers, and possible haters told me I should do my own laminate work. Fuck that. And it all started with my mom telling me, “mijo, you should remove that nasty pink carpet and get tile in your house.”

I knew the carpet was trash, dirty, and plain nasty as hell. I had to go and rent a carpet cleaner to keep it clean every time my 10 kamikaze nieces and nephews would come visit me… But at first it was about the money. I, for some reason kept thinking it was cheap like back in the day when for 3k you would get a whole house with tile and maybe few beers and some ribeyes. Naw vato, 3k is all trim, supplies and many two rooms LOL. So, I decided to get some laminate that looks like restored oak.

Everyone said it was easy, YOUTUBERs said it was easy… and boy was it a fucken nightmare.

First of all, you have to be agile, and probable used to the pain of bending over, carrying heavy loads back and forth, and having your hand throb over trying to take out tile that just refuses to let go. It was insane, like these people probably like to see others suffer as much as they did their first initiation into the world of tile. I am an old rat bastard; everything hurt by day 2. I had unloaded 53 boxes into the garage and then later moved the furniture out of the living room so I could let them bastards acclimate?

GTFOH!!!!!

Then comes the moment of truth. Now, bear with me, I know how to square, run lines but I am not a floor installer and YouTube made me feel like I was a bad ass. I laid down 3 rows, but they kept falling apart. why?
Bad tools.
Bad walls.
Bad everything.
And yet I was adamant that it was not that, like the interior of the house seemed fully squared, maybe I was losing my mind.

Yeah bro, after that putiza I was losing my mind.

Holy freaking smithereens… I gave up, and hired a pro. Pro tells me, I can show you how to do it and you go from there? Me, hell naw vato. Take over because I am about to light the house on fire and be one with the universe… Unless you’re bad ass, don’t’ believe the hype and go all DIY.

Not everyone is built for chingazos and straight rapture!!!!!!