† SINISTER PUBLICATIONS†

At the beginning of being unemployed, time seemed to slow down way too much, but now everything seems to have been speeding up drastically. I usually get good sleep, but lately I’ve been sleeping more than ever. Just the other day I slept for thirteen hours. I would have slept more but my head was already boppin’. I guess your brain can only handle so much. What sucks about this new change of time is that even though we get that extra hour of sunshine, the day gets darker quicker and my mind tends to do the same. I find myself unable to function correctly once the sun goes down—and living so far away from civilization, due to the lack of tv channels and internet access, I can’t find anything to do.
It’s not bad living out there, outside of the city. Most of the time out here, you get a really good night’s sleep because there isn’t much noise taking place. I started to hate the neighbor ever since he added a fog light to the electrical post. Ever since then I haven’t been able to enjoy my star gazing like I used to. One of the beauties of living away from civilization is no having that much light pollution. I used to lie on the ground and just look up at the stars for hours while I listened to music.

Times have changed, now a day everything seems to be so complicated. Just having friendships now a day seems to require some sort of training or certification, just to get the point across. Communication has become more difficult to use now that there is an overabundance of social apps and other types that are supposed to facilitate how people communication. Maybe I am too old school, even though I am borderline almost a millennial. They call us the Gen-Exers; something like that.

There have been times that I’ve asked myself if I might have been the problem. What if I have lost touch with reality and I lost my way of how communication goes? What now? I doubt that is the case, but just in case I have taken some actions towards improving it. I started to connect with old friends and even changed the way I acted with my family. Now that my parents are older, I have to enjoy the rest of their time here on earth before they decide they have had enough and depart. It’s the small little things that improve our quality of life. I really think this is the case.

I haven’t been as depressed as before—but still get that feeling of gloom once in a while. It even made me think that I might be bipolar. I joke about that, I know I am not, but that just feels weird. Having an overly active mind does not help at all. Most of the time my mind is just thinking and thinking so much that I don’t enjoy the little things. I started to take better care of myself by eating healthy and meditating… been getting so much energy now. I guess I will have to find a way to burn that energy off. What if I wrote a journal?

Now that I’ve been meditating more and becoming more self-aware, I have been having some really wild dreams. Just yesterday I dreamt that I was a cyborg fighting evil runaway battle bots. Also, just last week I dreamt that as I was cleaning my room, dusting it off and re-arranging the furniture, the world was experiencing catastrophe. I heard loud booms in the distance. I went outside and saw the city consumed by a hellish red fire that rose all the way to the clouds. I could see meteors falling from the sky, generating massive explosions. Pretty wild huh?